It's night before it's afternoon. But one member of the group simply could never show up on time. SAYS Recommended for you. In other words, being late often indicates positive things about your personality. "In fact, in my experience, elite business people or elite performers will tend to be 15 minutes early. That's because you feel like you're wasting your valuable time and that the other person and organization is demonstrating that their time is more valuable than yours. While being late may send out the message, “I think I’m more important than you,” what it could actually mean is quite the opposite. For some of us, the world can be divided into two kinds of people: those of us who show up on time, and those of us who are late. It’s another way of exerting control and signaling that you’re more important than the people who you keep waiting. "If you think back to when etiquette was at its peak, so during the Victorian times, there were often six course dinners all perfectly timed according to wine and service," Musson continued. They aren't lucky to have you. Unfortunately, this is such a common practice--especially among service companies, who don't seem to understand how harmful this kind of practice can be in creating lasting relationships with their customers. But for our purposes, let's stick to the norm for U.S. business culture, which gives us about a five-minute window for showing up for a scheduled appointment. If you have been late for some reason or another, it is crucial that you do not let it happen again. There is no such thing as arriving fashionably late. This tends to mean every meeting runs five minutes later. You've got problems and you need to not feel them quickly." What people forget is someone is always on the other side of your thoughtlessness.". “How did it get so late so soon? Being late makes you look bad and says you don't care about the person waiting for you. And so on, and so forth. So, the point is to recognize the kind of message you send whenever you're late and to remember that, if you don't want to send the wrong message, remember to show how you value someone else's time as much as your value your own by showing up on time. “Remember”, he said, “if you’re on time, you’re late, but if you’re early, you’re on time”. I don't agree with that. December is here before it's June. 'It's not endearing, it's not cute, it's a flaw'. In terms of the somewhat lax attitude many people have today toward time, Musson acknowledges advanced technology could play a part, but urges this should not be the case. Being chronically late, on the other hand, sends the message that whatever you’re doing is simply more important than the task at hand—and that your time is more valuable than everyone else’s. If you're running any later than that, it's expected that you would call your host and explain where you are and what time you expect to show up. "The thing is, though it is a tool to help ease the pain of being late, we rely on it too much," Musson said. In most cases, your host will understand and everything will work out fine because we all know that stuff happens--from flat tires and unexpected traffic to airline delays. Go to the toilet on your own time. We've all been there. Your reasons are not important or relevant. For example, I was in a business group made up of several business leaders who met regularly. The train inexplicably failed to turn up on time. "A phone call is much better form than a text for business but if it's a friend, a text is probably fine," Musson said. Worse, he was always 15 to 20 minutes late for our meetings -  which means if he started 20 minutes earlier - he could have made it. Think about how you feel whenever you go to the doctor's office, or even the DMV, where you think you have an appointment--but you find yourself waiting 15 minutes, a half hour, or even longer before you actually get to talk to someone. Once you have arrived at your scheduled meeting, Musson said while it's appropriate to apologise, it's not appropriate to go on and on about it. Being on time is professional. More often than not, however, tardiness isn't due to a random fault in the public transport system, it's a fault in the way we perceive the value of time (namely, other people's). "Never send an email saying you are running late. When you’re late for a date, especially if it’s a first date, you risk making your date angry, and you’re certainly not making a … Now I realize that the majority of us have been late to something more than once in our lives. … says you clearly … They’ll accept that you can’t be counted on, and adjust their behaviors accordingly. Musson says while occasionally running late is out of everyone's control, you don't want to be in a position where you are known for your tardiness. No one will be surprised or say anything when you’re late, because that’s just you delivering on your promise of being unreliable. It seems texting or emailing that you are late somehow means you are no longer late. "It takes a certain amount of self awareness to say 'I'm not going to do what I always do' but in this case it's very much worth it. Let me explain. Otherwise, why would a customer want to work with you if you clearly don't value their time? "There are a multitude of reasons as to why, but the overriding reason is it suggests deep down you think your time is more valuable than others'.". Today, for many people, it's common to have a more fluid view of time rather than a linear and finite view. For those who find it difficult to be on time, Musson says the best thing to do is pretend your meeting starts half an hour earlier than it actually does. It was some tough love and very emotional for everyone. Part of HuffPost News. regardless of other factors such as age, culture, or environment) makes people 11% more likely to be late for appointments. You quite literally run on Dunkin', or at least some sort of caffeine. "Where we are seeing this in epidemic proportions is in the workplace," Musson said. "I once had a friend who used to say, 'the party starts when I get there,' and I just used to think, 'wow, that's really arrogant'," Musson continued. To his credit, the exec got the message loud and clear and was on time--if not early--for every meeting after that. Never miss a thing. Sometimes, being late is your unconscious telling you that that you don’t actually want to be there, or that it would be better for you not to be there—… It lowers their opinion of you. "For a dinner party, the correct time to arrive is 10 minutes after the specified time. Sign up to HuffPost Australia’s weekly newsletter. Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” Diligent people are usually punctual because wise time management is required to accomplish their goals. That way I'm usually 15 minutes early," Musson said. A person may feel so inferior that the only way they can think of to up their authority is to be late, thus reclaiming some of the power in the situation. "The correct time to arrive for a business meeting would be 10 minutes earlier than the agreed time. Of course, we gave him proper positive encouragement every time he showed for the meeting start with a little cheer! Lateness is incredible passive-aggressive: You are showing how you feel about a person without exactly expressing it. Just to clear this up, you are late if you are not ready to work on time. Instead of being frustrated at others, take a look at yourself. If you went out the night before and woke up late, be honest about it and reassure the person that it will not happen again. You just don’t care. It Can Result in Lost Opportunities. Big … I doubt you want me to feel that way. Being late is not, especially when the meeting is being held for your benefit. My dentist kept me waiting 50 minutes not long ago. Losing a Potential Client … It's all about having that respect.". "'Was it my birthday?' "Also, sending one at five past, when you are already late, is really bad form.". Your lateness is says a lot about you. Chronic lateness is something that drives Dr. Phil up the wall. … late once or twice in your life may be unavoidable but being late consistently makes you unreliable. You are silently communicating how you value people's time, what message that kind of behavior sends to the rest of us. If you want customers to choose to do business with you, you must meet their expectations for performance. At a minimum, an effort should be made to explain why the meeting is delayed. So let's first define what we mean by "being late." When you are late all the time, people just get sick of waiting, and pretty soon you find that you are not being invited to do things that you used to enjoy. More from this show But enough! So let's first define what we mean by "being late." Your car has broken down. "Don't forget you are a guest of the host, and should be gracious and turn up at an acceptable time. "You're creating a … She has done it for years and years. Get a weekly dose of the latest news, exclusives and guides to achieving the good life. That being said, probably best to set an earlier alarm for the sake of your on-time friends’ sanity. So we held an intervention and explained how we felt and that, if he didn't change his behavior, we would ask him to leave the group. If you were here but in the toilet, you are late. And inconsiderate. And I act on it, too. Musson says while occasionally running late is out of everyone's control, you don't want to be in a position where you are known for your tardiness. In short: it tells us that our time is less valuable than yours. "If you are habitually late, it suggests you are unreliable," she said. You need to first understand that being late might depend greatly on the kind of culture you come from. You are rude. Find out why he says you're sending negative messages about yourself to others when you're never on time. "In some social situations, being late is a good thing," says Maggie, who considers being a little late to a dinner party being "right on time!" Stick to your promise. As for the concept of arriving 'fashionably late', Musson is not a fan. … While running late might not be ideal, it does happen, and sometimes it's really, truly, legitimately not your fault. Inconsiderate: Unintentionally being late demonstrates an overall lack of consideration for the lives of others. Cultivate the habit of being early. What kind of message do you think that sent the rest of us? Additional traits that correlated with higher levels of agreement were the Observant, … When You're Late For Work | NANDINI SAYS - Duration: 2:45. "There is no such thing as arriving fashionably late," she told HuffPost Australia. Luckily, there are some technology companies that are trying to bridge the gap between keeping their people fully utilized and not making customers wait like Qless. All rights reserved. No matter what excuse he might share, he was clearly communicating that whatever he was doing was more valuable than being with us. I don't agree with that. Psychologists say that lateness is a passive-aggressive act that reflects an underlying hostility. It's incredibly frustrating, right? Someone is always on the other side of your thoughtlessness. Getting to a meeting or appointment on time shows that it’s important to you, and something for which you’ve planned. And what you are expressing is, … "In fact, in my experience, elite business people or elite performers will tend to be 15 minutes early. Being late tells the person you’re making wait for you that you don’t care about his or her feelings, and that you don’t respect their time. "We should use technology as assistance, not as a crutch.". The truth was that we were all insulted because it was clear that this executive thought his time was more valuable than ours. "You don't want to be in a position where you are keeping that person waiting.". "I used to be a serial runner-laterer, and I have learnt to tell myself to be half an hour early. "It's like an unspoken rule with meetings to give people five minutes either way. "If the circumstance is out of your control and you have arrived and you are late, apologise for running late, and then let it go," Musson said. To a chronically late person, this reaction might seem pretty great at first. Honestly, spitting in my face or calling me a fatty fatty boombalatty would be less rude than being continually late. Being late is a very easy way to lose your current and potential … In short: it tells us that our time is less valuable than yours. Rubbish. The next morning, I dashed straight to class, making it there exactly a half hour before class started, and unsure if this counted as being late. "There are also complaints younger people have an attitude of 'the meeting starts when I get there', which annoys people and also affects productivity. In Switzerland, on the other hand, even showing up at exactly the scheduled time might be considered late since everyone is expected to show up early. The consequences of being chronically late run deeper than many people realize, according to psychologist Linda Sapadin, PhD, author of Master Your Fears. "It's not endearing, it's not cute, it's a flaw.​", Associate Lifestyle Editor, HuffPost Australia. ©2020 Verizon Media. That says a lot about you too! If being late is one of your habits - best to break it now at the risk of insulting all your friends and business associates. ​"Today, for many people, it's common to have a more fluid view of time rather than a linear and finite view. "The bottom line is, being late costs people money.". Being late … … does not make you an important or special person. Looking at the data above, a definite pattern emerges: Judging personality types formed the peaks of agreement and Prospecting types formed the valleys. If you feel disrespected or taken for granted by the friend who's habitually late, don't. Whoever you are doesn’t reserve you the right to be late. How to Break Your Habit of Always Being Late Part 2 – Keeping You Organized 166 - Duration: 16:56. By repeatedly being late you may lose your job or lose trust in your friends or partners. 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